Posted by: John | May 22, 2012

Eurovision 2012 First Semi Final

So here goes for 8pm on 22/5/2012 – BBC Three

1. Montenegro – let’s be clear – no one expects this to qualify or to receive many points. It’s basically experimental gurgling with a bit of opera thrown in for good measure. Oh, and a wooden horse on stage. Why? No one really knows except that he had one in his video and animals are not allowed on the Eurovision stage.

2. Iceland – luckily for Iceland they go after this piece of rubbish. Star quality here with a superb song. It should qualify. I hope it wins the whole thing.

3. Greece – personally I don’t see what all the fuss is about. A happy clappy standard `Greek by numbers` pop number – it seems designed to pull in points but not win (the costs of winning!). Should qualify? I’m not so sure

4. Latvia – Anmary sings a lovely song with very self-reverential (Eurovision navel-gazing) lyrics. Due to its placing it probably won’t qualify.

5. Albania – I rather like this one. Keep with it as it’s certainly unusual although I wonder if there’s a problem in that `you have to get used to it`. Rona certainly has a great voice.

6. Romania – Great ethnic pop from a country that always puts in 110%. It’s got great singing, great music and, oh yes, bagpipes! Could win the night and the whole thing. A tip for the top.

7. Switzerland – u2/coldplay inspired indie pop. The song’s a lot better than the diction – and if you need to get your message in as directly as possible? I love the song but I’ll be pleasantly shocked should it qualify.

8. Belgium – time to put the kettle on to this limp little number. I’d be shocked if it qualified.

9. Finland – it doesn’t matter if you haven’t finished brewing up for this little sweet weak ethnic ballad. Apparently rehearsals haven’t inspired people. Looks like Finnair tomorrow morning?

10. Israel – by rights the song is good enough to qualify – kind of kiddie pop meets cornerhouse/bollywood in a yiddish setting. Would be great if it qualified but its placing holds it back.

11. San Marino – good singer with lyrics containing too much information – first and last time you’ll ever hear the words `Do you wanna be more than just a friend?, do you wanna play cybersex again, if you wanna come to my house, then click me with your mouse`. Ugh. It’d be a shock qualifier.

12. Cyprus – a good quality dance floor anthem. The problem lies with the fact that Ivi can’t sing and dance too well at the same time so the `spare parts` I mean dancers make up for this lack of energy. Will qualify unless viewers take umbrage with this lack of performance integrity.

13. Denmark – If Israel doesn’t qualify it might be because this one does. I don’t get the appeal myself – a middle of the road plodding number that I describe as `sensible shoes music`. 

14. Russia – what’s there to say? Grannies, ethnic costumes, pies and a heart on the sleeve back story. The song’s so-so but the points won’t be. A sure-fire qualifier.

15. Hungary – Another mid-tempo `sensible shoes` number. Apparently they’ve managed to make it sound a bit more exciting. Must have been a huge task. The placing will probably get it through.

16. Austria – Austrian `shake your booty` rap – enjoy!

17. Moldova – everyone loves Pasha Parfeny the singer. This has gone down a storm at the rehearsals and its placing should guarantee it a place in the final. It’s a kind of Moldovan ethnic with a huge twist of burlesque beats. Refreshing!

18. Ireland – a standard boy-band number sounding more Californian than County Cork. However, it’s Jedward and there’s a waterfall. I wonder if it will pour cold water on its qualification chances – or will viewers think it enhances the song `Waterline`?

See you at the other side!


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